How to Talk to Your Kids about Drugs and Alcohol

How to Talk to Your Kids about Drugs and Alcohol

By: Brittany Ford

The “ignore it and it will go away” mentality does not apply to youth substance abuse. In fact, research shows that the earlier parents begin to talk with their children about drugs and alcohol, the less likely they are to struggle with addiction issues. Yet, many parents find themselves at a loss for how to pose such a subject.

Is there a right way to talk to your child about substance abuse, and how early is too early?

It is very important that children feel comfortable talking to parents about sensitive issues, such as use the abuse of drugs and alcohol. Too often, parents attempt to protect children from the realities of such issues through avoidance, unintentionally putting their children at greater risk of unsafe behaviors and drug experimentation. If children do not receive information about drugs and alcohol from their parents, they will seek information from other sources. Depending on which sources the information is received from, this alternative could be severely detrimental.

The Earlier the Better

Although it may seem pre-mature, research shows that parents should begin talking to their children about the dangers of substance abuse as early as preschool age. Conversations do not have to be formal and “scary”. In fact, they should be casual and worked into everyday occurrences. For example, if your child is prescribed an antibiotic or another medication, use the opportunity to explain the importance of following doctor’s orders carefully when taking  medication, and only taking medication that is “prescribed”. Other “teachable moments”, such as commercials on television about use of alcohol or drugs, should be taken advantage of. Keep in mind that children at this developmental level are especially impressionable and attentive to what they are told. After all, young children are referred to as “sponges” for a reason-they seek to find answers to inquiries and understand the world around them.

Keep the Talking Consistent

Don’t make the mistake of talking about drugs once or twice with your child and failing to revisit the topic. As your child gets older, keep conversations flowing and encourage your child to contribute. Ask your child what he or she thinks about drugs and alcohol, if his/her friends has experimented with such substances, etc.  Keep in mind that the more comfortable your child feels talking with you about such sensitive  topics; the more likely he/she will come to you when confronted with pressures and temptations. Always remember that as a parent;  you hold great power in determining whether or not your child will be “drug free”. Even if your child shrugs off your voice and acts as if he/she is embarrassed by you talking to him or her about a sensitive topic, odds are they are still listening.  Remember that the power of the “conscious” is powerful, and it is often your voice they hear when determining whether something is right or wrong.

Okay….But What Exactly Do I Say?

Be honest and direct when talking about drugs and alcohol with your child. When talking with pre-teens and teenagers, do not hesitate to talk about the legal ramifications of substance abuse. Find stories about individuals who have suffered from addiction. Use discretion on details based on your child’s maturity level, but do not “sugar coat” the facts. It is important for your child to understand the realities and consequences  of poor choices. Let them know that substance abuse ruins lives.

 Younger children and pre-teens may benefit from “role playing”. Put on “skits” by assigning your kids/kid’s friends parts and developing a scrip based on scenarios when they may be confronted with substance abuse or drug experimentation . You may choose to tape the “skits” using a phone, IPAD or another device to make it more engaging-your child can watch his/her work when done.

Keep in mind that children respond best to real-world stories that they can relate to, as most young people suffer from the “it wont happen to me” and the misconception that they are invincible. Pre-teens/ teens may benefit from a  Google search  for articles about teens affected by substance abuse. Focus on scenarios that you think your child may identify with. For example, if your child is a soccer player, you may find a story about a soccer player who suffered from addiction.

“Help! My Child or a Child I Know Is Suffering From a Problem with Drugs or Alcohol!”

Unfortunately, even the best parents may find that their child is suffering from issues with substance abuse, and may be plagued with addiction. Such realities are frightening for parents and may be associated with such emotions as fear , guilt and shame. At Self-empowerment, NH LLC, we are here to tell you to stop blaming yourself and stop living in fear for your child’s well-being. Seek addiction counseling and/or family counseling today. Lori Magoon, an MLADC, has helped many individuals whom suffer from addiction and offers a number of different services for both families and individuals.

For more information, contact Lori at (603)470-6938 or selfempowermentnh@gmail.com.

You can also visit our website at selfempowermentnh.com.

Open to the door to self empowerment. 

“She Was a Nice Girl”- A Heroin Addict’s Story

“She Was a Nice Girl”- A Heroin Addict’s Story

She appears clean, well-kept and is considered fashionable in accordance with Seventeen magazine standards, with a designer blouse, dark jeans, leather shoes and jewelry which ties her outfit together perfectly. Her nails are neatly polished and her hair appears smooth and silky, pulled back in a neat ponytail. Her parents are professionals, her father an insurance salesman and her mother a first grade teacher. She grew up in a nice neighborhood with one younger sister with who she held a close relationship. Her parents were very much involved in her childhood, even paying a rather high tuition for her to attend a prestigious private high school. Surrounded by tears of sorrow and expressions of shock and disbelief, in her coffin she lies. She is a beautiful seventeen year whom could have had the brightest of futures. But she has a secret. A secret no one came to terms with until it was too late. She is a Heroin addict.

She always said she would never try drugs, president of the ‘Teens Against Substance Abuse’ organization in middle school and consistent recipient of the high honor roll. She played sports, was even voted Most Valuable Player of the girls’ soccer team. A “nice girl”, she was well liked by her teachers and peers.

Like many teens, she went through a “rebellious stage” at around age sixteen. She began dating an older boy and surrounding herself with an older crowd whom challenged authority and abused high allowances from their wealthy parents. All it took was one party. One Percocet. One was enough. She was hooked.

Soon she could not go a day without at least one Percocet. And then she began needing one every twelve hours. Every six hours. Every three. She began needing more and more to get the same result the drug had initially given her. And soon, the “feel good” (high) of the Percocet pills no longer existed. She found that she needed Percocet just to wake up in the morning and carry out a day of basic tasks. A task as simple as brushing her teeth could not even be imagined without Percocet.

Her parents were well off financially and gave her money to buy things that she wanted. But even an unusually steep teenage allowance could not fund the high price of Percocet, especially as she continued to increase her dosage of the drug. Before she knew it, the “nice girl” was stealing to buy pills. From her friends. Parents. Grandparents. She even stole from her younger sister’s piggy bank.

Dreams of becoming a veterinarian and playing college soccer were put on hold as she found herself injecting Heroin into her veins. Another addict told her that the Heroin high was comparable to the Percocet high at less than half of the cost. She cringed at the idea of injecting a needle at first. She didn’t see herself as the type of person whom would do such a thing. But she needed it. Couldn’t live without it. Didn’t care about much of anything else. Just needed the high.

Her parents were in denial. As they had always been close with their daughter, they noticed uncharacteristic behavior. The school even called expressing concerns about their daughter, as her grades were declining and she had been kicked off the soccer team for failing to attend both practices and games. They addressed the behavior of course, “grounding” their daughter and providing standard lectures. However, at the end of the day, they shrugged it off, telling themselves that their daughter was simply going through a phase and would soon come out of it. They didn’t know that their little girl wore long sleeves, even in the hot summer, as a means to cover her track marks. Or that she had gone as far as having sex with a stranger for money to fund a Heroin fix.

Eventually, her parents recognized that a drug problem existed. But they loved their daughter and trusted her enough to believe her when she said that she was fine and could quit using without professional help. Her mother, in seeing how much her daughter was suffering from withdrawal, even gave her daughter money, knowing in the back of her mind that it would more than likely find the hands of a Heroin dealer.

It was her sister whom found her unresponsive on that rainy spring morning. Her twelve year old sister. She found her surrounded by syringes, her face lifeless and her body cold as ice. The discovery was enough to send her sister into a tale-spin of depression, a depression so severe that she spent a significant amount of time in a residential mental health facility.

This story may seem like a long shot. A rare incidence. But in fact, stories like this one are increasingly common. Heroin use has spread like wild-fire in the state of New Hampshire, affecting every population, even the “nice girls and boys”. And codependence is just as common, an understandable reality. Parents are instilled with the instinct to protect their children from pain, and there is no easy way to process and support a child’s struggle with addiction.

So How Do I Ensure that My Child Does Not Meet the Same Fate that the Girl in this Story Met?

Parenting is more stressful of a job than ever. As we continue to hear about the rise of such fatal drugs as Heroin in the state of New Hampshire; support from professionals trained specifically in working with families dealing with addiction issues is more important than ever. Self-Empowerment NH, LLC specializes in working with families suffering from substance abuse issues. Through both individual counseling and family counseling; Selfempnh is here to serve as an empathetic, confidential and non-judgmental support system.

Self-Empowerment NH, LLC is also excited to announce half and full day presentations, one in which is titled Signs and Symptoms of Substance Abuse in the Workplace. Signs and Symptoms of Substance Abuse in the Workplace is an interactive presentation geared for parents and educators seeking education about youth substance abuse. Learn about the signs and symptoms of youth substance abuse by drug of choice, and appropriate steps for intervention and recovery. For more information about the signs of youth drug abuse, counseling and group services and/or presentations, please contact Lori Magoon, MLADC, LCMHC at (603)470-6937 or selfempowermentnh@gmail.com.

You are not alone. Open the door to self empowerment. Open the door to a better tomorrow.

Parents of Opioid Addicts: How to Cope with the Devastation

Parents of individuals addicted to Opioids are not always bad parents. In fact, most are great parents whom have devoted their lives to their children. Many of them may even have been involved in PTO, coached their child’s soccer team or dressed as Santa Clause every Christmas. Many individuals hear about young people addicted to Opioids, including Heroin, and automatically assume that these young people grew up with neglectful parents. In reality, it is just not true. Even the best parents can have children addicted to Opioids, and even the best children can become Opioid addicts.

 So how does it feel to be the parent of an Opioid addict? If you have discovered that your child is addicted to Opioids or know a parent who has, you know that such a realization can be devastating. Most parents go through a grieving process, to include a stage of denial. No parent wants to hear that their child is addicted to a drug, and it is a natural human reaction to abstain from acceptance of truly painful news.

 Parents of Opioid addicts often find that their child becomes unrecognizable. From outward appearance to drastic personality changes, Opioid addiction transforms individuals into horrible versions of their former selves. Addicts are typically driven by one motivator, (their drug of choice), and will do almost anything to obtain it. This may mean lying, cheating, stealing and/or harming others. When addicted to Opioids, the most kindhearted and honest individual may become sneaky, selfish and destructive.

 As a parent of an Opioid addict, the respect of your child’s property is no longer a factor. Opioid abuse should be treated like any other life-threatening disease. You have the right to intervene and take such actions as searching your child’s room. It is always better to be “safe than sorry”. Recognizing the signs of drug use and addiction can help you take immediate and necessary steps to saving your child’s life.

 By nature, parents are nurturers. Parents are instilled with an instinct of codependence, constantly seeking to “fix” the problems of their children. Although difficult, it is important for parents to separate themselves from their child’s addiction, recognizing that this problem is not one that mom or dad can fix. Codependence will only metastasize the addiction.

No parent wants their child to “hate” them, and they will, (for a little while). When you first confront your child about his/her addiction and/or host an intervention, your child will demonstrate anger, resentment and may even use some alarming choice words. It is imperative that you abstain from backing down and recognize that you are doing the right thing even if coming to terms with your child’s addiction is heart-breaking.

Instead of living in denial, it is imperative that parents come to turns with their child’s addiction. By recognizing the signs of addiction and taking appropriate measures once a substance abuse issue is recognized, parents may inadvertently save their child’s life. Too many parents accept their child’s addiction too late, (when their child has passed away from a Heroin overdose).

There is nothing that could ever make parenting an Opioid addict easy. However, the following are suggestions for coping with such a condition:

1.)     Accept that addiction is a disease. An individual who suffers from addiction will continue to use his/her substance of choice regardless of consequences. This lack of reason relates to chemical changes in the brain, specifically within Mesolimbic Dopamine System. The Mesolimbic Dopamine System regulates pleasurable experiences such as food, sex and other “feel goods”. Repetitive drug use overstimulates the pleasure system. Thus, addicts, (to include Opioid addicts), lose the ability to control and satisfy their cravings.

2.)     Do Things for Yourself- As a parent battling your child’s Opioid addiction, it may seem that your whole world is consumed by overwhelming worry and fear. However, it is important to take time for yourself and make active attempts of relaxation. Take a bubble bath. Invite your partner or a friend on a long walk. Get a massage.

3.)     Attend Family Counseling. Addiction is largely a family disease, meaning that addiction does not only affect the addicted individual, but the friends and family of the addicted individual as well. Family counseling can help rebalance the family dynamic, improve communication among family members, and provide family members with a much needed safe environment in which they can express fears, anger and other concerns.

Self-Empowerment NH, LLC, located in Concord, New Hampshire, has a background in supporting individuals suffering from the toughest of addictions. As an organization, we have a great deal of experience in working with individuals suffering from Opioid addiction, as well as families of Opioid addicts. Lori Magoon, MLADC, LCMHC offers individual counseling, family and couples counseling and group services. Selfempnh now also offers presentations about signs, symptoms and the appropriate intervention measures of substance abuse for parents and educators.

For more information about the services Self Empowerment NH, LLC offers, please contact Lori at (603)470-6937or selfempowermentnh@gmail.com. You can also visit the organization’s website at selfempowermentnh.com.

You are not alone. Open the door to self empowerment. Open the door to a better tomorrow.