Parents of Opioid Addicts: How to Cope with the Devastation

Parents of individuals addicted to Opioids are not always bad parents. In fact, most are great parents whom have devoted their lives to their children. Many of them may even have been involved in PTO, coached their child’s soccer team or dressed as Santa Clause every Christmas. Many individuals hear about young people addicted to Opioids, including Heroin, and automatically assume that these young people grew up with neglectful parents. In reality, it is just not true. Even the best parents can have children addicted to Opioids, and even the best children can become Opioid addicts.

 So how does it feel to be the parent of an Opioid addict? If you have discovered that your child is addicted to Opioids or know a parent who has, you know that such a realization can be devastating. Most parents go through a grieving process, to include a stage of denial. No parent wants to hear that their child is addicted to a drug, and it is a natural human reaction to abstain from acceptance of truly painful news.

 Parents of Opioid addicts often find that their child becomes unrecognizable. From outward appearance to drastic personality changes, Opioid addiction transforms individuals into horrible versions of their former selves. Addicts are typically driven by one motivator, (their drug of choice), and will do almost anything to obtain it. This may mean lying, cheating, stealing and/or harming others. When addicted to Opioids, the most kindhearted and honest individual may become sneaky, selfish and destructive.

 As a parent of an Opioid addict, the respect of your child’s property is no longer a factor. Opioid abuse should be treated like any other life-threatening disease. You have the right to intervene and take such actions as searching your child’s room. It is always better to be “safe than sorry”. Recognizing the signs of drug use and addiction can help you take immediate and necessary steps to saving your child’s life.

 By nature, parents are nurturers. Parents are instilled with an instinct of codependence, constantly seeking to “fix” the problems of their children. Although difficult, it is important for parents to separate themselves from their child’s addiction, recognizing that this problem is not one that mom or dad can fix. Codependence will only metastasize the addiction.

No parent wants their child to “hate” them, and they will, (for a little while). When you first confront your child about his/her addiction and/or host an intervention, your child will demonstrate anger, resentment and may even use some alarming choice words. It is imperative that you abstain from backing down and recognize that you are doing the right thing even if coming to terms with your child’s addiction is heart-breaking.

Instead of living in denial, it is imperative that parents come to turns with their child’s addiction. By recognizing the signs of addiction and taking appropriate measures once a substance abuse issue is recognized, parents may inadvertently save their child’s life. Too many parents accept their child’s addiction too late, (when their child has passed away from a Heroin overdose).

There is nothing that could ever make parenting an Opioid addict easy. However, the following are suggestions for coping with such a condition:

1.)     Accept that addiction is a disease. An individual who suffers from addiction will continue to use his/her substance of choice regardless of consequences. This lack of reason relates to chemical changes in the brain, specifically within Mesolimbic Dopamine System. The Mesolimbic Dopamine System regulates pleasurable experiences such as food, sex and other “feel goods”. Repetitive drug use overstimulates the pleasure system. Thus, addicts, (to include Opioid addicts), lose the ability to control and satisfy their cravings.

2.)     Do Things for Yourself- As a parent battling your child’s Opioid addiction, it may seem that your whole world is consumed by overwhelming worry and fear. However, it is important to take time for yourself and make active attempts of relaxation. Take a bubble bath. Invite your partner or a friend on a long walk. Get a massage.

3.)     Attend Family Counseling. Addiction is largely a family disease, meaning that addiction does not only affect the addicted individual, but the friends and family of the addicted individual as well. Family counseling can help rebalance the family dynamic, improve communication among family members, and provide family members with a much needed safe environment in which they can express fears, anger and other concerns.

Self-Empowerment NH, LLC, located in Concord, New Hampshire, has a background in supporting individuals suffering from the toughest of addictions. As an organization, we have a great deal of experience in working with individuals suffering from Opioid addiction, as well as families of Opioid addicts. Lori Magoon, MLADC, LCMHC offers individual counseling, family and couples counseling and group services. Selfempnh now also offers presentations about signs, symptoms and the appropriate intervention measures of substance abuse for parents and educators.

For more information about the services Self Empowerment NH, LLC offers, please contact Lori at (603)470-6937or selfempowermentnh@gmail.com. You can also visit the organization’s website at selfempowermentnh.com.

You are not alone. Open the door to self empowerment. Open the door to a better tomorrow.